He Thinks, She Thinks

This cartoon says a lot!  It seems about right to me!  Although actually, if I think about it, there should be more sections of a male's brain designated for food.  Certainly sex is predominant on a man's mind, but surely food ranks pretty high up there!






http://imgfave.com/view/1469709

Notable Differences Between the Brains of Men and Women

It looks like some of the gender stereotypes may be in at least part supported by science.  According to an article on webmd.com (some links and excerpts below), women are wired to be better in language and men's brains are better designed for math and science.  However this seems to be a developmental issue.  That is, a female's brain development in areas of math and science apparently tend to be 4 years behind males.  Conversely, the males are apparently six years behind females in the development of language-related areas.  Obviously this is all very general, and there are always exceptions.  And certainly this does not mean that all women are 4 years behind men in the areas of math and science.  It sounds like we all more or less catch up.  It seems that men are slower to get there in terms of language, and women are slower to get there in terms of math and science.  And it seems that may have something to do with physical differences between the genders in terms of our brains.  I find this all extremely fascinating.

Certainly none of this is to say that women are not good at math or science or that men are not good at language skills.  That is obviously not true.  But it is all still very interesting.

What are some of your experiences with learning math/science vs language, for yourself or for someone you know?  What sort of tendencies have you seen that seem to be gender-based?




http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/how-male-female-brains-differ

...

Consider these recent findings. Researchers, using brain imaging technology that captures blood flow to "working" parts of the brain, analyzed how men and women process language. All subjects listened to a novel. When males listened, only the left hemisphere of their brains was activated. The brains of female subjects, however, showed activity on both the left and right hemispheres.

...

Researchers concluded that when it comes to math, the brain of a 12-year-old girl resembles that of an 8-year-old boy. Conversely, the same researchers found that areas of the brain involved in language and fine motor skills (such as handwriting) mature about six years earlier in girls than in boys.

...

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/how-male-female-brains-differ?page=2

...

"Women are faster and more accurate at identifying emotions," says Ruben Gur, PhD, a neurologist at the University of Pennsylvania. Studies have shown women to be more adept than men at encoding facial differences and determining changing vocal intonations.

Women, as a whole, may also be better than men at controlling their emotions. Gur and colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania recently discovered that sections of the brain used to control aggression and anger responses are larger in women than in men.

...

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/how-male-female-brains-differ?page=3

...

Some researchers believe that nurturing one's brain can enhance what nature has provided. Consider, for instance, the general superiority of males' spatial abilities. "There's a lot of evidence that we build up our brain's representation of space by moving through it," Denckla tells WebMD. As anyone who spends a significant time around children knows, boys tend to get a lot more practice "moving through space" -- chasing a ball, for instance -- than girls do. "My hypothesis is that we could possibly erase this difference if we pushed girls out into the exploratory mode," Denckla says. She predicts that as more and more girls engage in sports traditionally reserved for boys, like soccer, the data on spatial ability will show fewer disparities between females and males.

Others believe brain variations between sexes are for the best. "Most of these differences are complementary. They increase the chances of males and females joining together. It helps the whole species," Gur says.

...

Women Don't Shower So Much!

Wow this is something.  I'm not at all surprised about the hand washing part, but the shower part shocks me.  I sure hope the remaining 30% of men and 43% of women shower on the second day at least!  Yuck!


http://www.bestfunfacts.com/human_gender_differences.html

Who Has More Cooties?

Boys have cooties!

90% of women wash their hands after using a public restroom; 75% of men do (American Society for Microbiology).

Girls have cooties!

70% of men shower daily. 57% of women shower daily (Harris Interactive).

"Oppressive Gender Roles"

Planned Parenthood gives you a list of words that they say are commonly associated with being female or being male.  I found a similar list on a blog called "International Marketing" by "heiidianniina".  I certainly know men who fit on these feminine lists and women who belong on these masculine lists.  What do you think of their list?  What words might you use?

On a side note, a cartoon from a blog called "somewhereinbetweenblog" by Ms Mettle caught my eye since it represents my feelings on these traditional gender stereotypes.  Enjoy!

What Is Feminine? What Is Masculine?

Feminine traits are ways of behaving that our culture usually associates with being a girl or woman. Masculine traits are ways of behaving that our culture usually associates with being a boy or man.

WORDS COMMONLY USED TO DESCRIBE FEMININITY

• dependent
• emotional
• passive
• sensitive
• quiet
• graceful
• innocent
• weak
• flirtatious
• nurturing
• self-critical
• soft
• sexually submissive
• accepting

WORDS COMMONLY USED TO DESCRIBE MASCULINITY

• independent
• non-emotional
• aggressive
• tough-skinned
• competitive
• clumsy
• experienced
• strong
• active
• self-confident
• hard
• sexually aggressive
• rebellious

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/sexual-orientation-gender/gender-gender-identity




http://heiidianniina.blogspot.com/2013/01/gender-stereotypes-right-way-to-segment.html
http://heiidianniina.blogspot.com/2013/01/gender-stereotypes-right-way-to-segment.html




https://somewhereinbetweenblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/gender-roles.jpg
https://somewhereinbetweenblog.wordpress.com/tag/gender-roles-in-bridal-showers/

Women Are Successful

Interesting if true, women are reportedly better bosses.  My experience has been that female bosses tend to overcompensate and seem to me to be harder on you than male bosses.  I personally do not consider that to be more fair or in any way better.  What have your experiences been?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/technology-science/science/men-versus-women-whos-best-2880581

Men versus women: Who's best in the battle of the sexes?

• Dec 04, 2013 00:00
• By Amanda Killelea

"Having women in the boardroom is good for business. A study found women make better bosses because they are fairer, have better scruples and are more likely to make decisions that benefit everyone – from shareholders to staff."

Stephen A Smith Apologized, Where's Roger Goodell's Apology?

The backlash from the whole Ray Rice incident and (lack of) disciplinary measures by the NFL has been pretty amazing.  I was struck by the fairly universal take by most of the men I have heard discussing it.  The general consensus has seemed to be that Roger Goodell sent an extremely poor message by suspending Ray Rice for a mere 2 games.  He has given substantially longer sentences for drug-related infractions, but almost nothing for an incident where Rice beat his then girlfriend into unconsciousness.  I was very pleased to hear such strong support from male broadcasters on sports radio talk shows, as well as from their male listeners who were calling in to give their opinions on the situation.  I do not recall hearing anyone say anything but the punishment was ridiculously light, aside from Ravens' coach John Harbaugh's statement which pretty well diminished the importance of the issue and gave high support for Rice.  But that's another story.  The most recent story that I have heard about a response to the situation involved tweets by Stephen A Smith.  I have always thought Stephen A Smith was hilarious.  I love when he goes on his rants.  What he tweeted initially about women needing to essentially do their share to avoid abuse was completely off the wall ridiculous.  I was pleased to see he went to great lengths to clarify his statement and to stress whole heartedly that he did not mean that a woman was ever asking for it or that they had any fault in being abused.  The fault definitely is the abuser's, absolutely not the abusee's.

I am pleased to see that now the great majority of men and women seem to be in agreement that abuse is absolutely wrong, and that the consequences should be considerably stronger.  Let's see if Roger Goodell will do anything in response to the backlash.  I find it interesting that he has made no comment whatsoever since laying out his lame ruling.  His doling out of punishment and fines always seems so arbitrary.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he hasn't offered any response or made any sort of acknowledgement about the controversy surrounding all of this.  And since little if any males seem to be siding with Goodell, his short-sightedness must not be a difference based on gender.  I will refrain from mentioning on what I feel the difference is truly based!


www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/25/espn-stephen-smith-abuse-ray-rice-rant_n_5621120.html

More Abuse From Football Players

http://m.espn.go.com/nfl/story?storyId=11263381&src=desktop

Men vs Women at Work

I read an article on Monster.com that discussed differences in communication styles between men and women at work.  It said that women tend to use a "softer" approach (by saying things like, "wouldn't it be a good idea to . . . ", etc).  It said men are more direct.  This article indicates that men also tend to ask less questions, and women ask more.

I have actually not noticed that my female superiors have been soft in their requests.  Any female supervisors I have had have been quite direct and very assertive.  In fact, I do not recall having anyone with a particularly "soft" approach, whether it is a supervisor or a co-worker.

Have you noticed different communication styles between men and women at your place of employment?  Please feel free to comment and let me know!


career-advice.monster.com/in-the-office/workplace-issues/he-said-she-said/article.aspx

Genders and Verbal or Physical Abuse

One of my big interests is in studying behavior in people and in their relationships.  Unfortunately, I have seen some relationships where one partner is abusive to the other.  Sometimes this is a man being abusive to a woman, but it certainly can happen the other way as well (I have seen battle scars of some friends to show either can be the case).  No matter when this type of behavior happens, and no matter who it is between, it is clearly wrong.  No one should have to live their life treated like they can do nothing right.  No one should be frequently yelled at or threatened with abuse, let alone be verbally and/or physically abused.

I was reading some articles that said it is usually a control issue, that the abuser feels insecure and feels the need to exercise some control over the abusee.  Unfortunately the abusee often ends up seeming to feel like it is easier to just walk on egg shells and keep the abuser happy.  They don't leave the relationship, they just tolerate it.  It is definitely a tricky and difficult situation.  An abuser can't really be changed, especially if they don't want to be.  The easiest thing to say to someone is that they should just walk away from it, get away from that abusive person.  But it really is never that easy, especially if a lot of time is invested in the relationship, and especially if you're married and you have children.

Although it seems that most people view abusive relationships to exist primarily in heterosexual couples, it seems that such abusive relationships can happen between anyone regardless of gender and relationship type.  It seems that humans' inhumanity to other humans transcends all categories and definition.


Some resources:
www.aaets.org/article144.htm
psychcentral.com/lib/signs-you-are-verbally-abused-part-i/00015267
psychcentral.com/lib/signs-you-are-verbally-abused-part-ii/00015271

Why Focus On Gender?

We as a society have long ago determined certain roles based on gender that are assigned to the members of each of our families.  The roles sometimes change over generations, and sometimes they adhere to what has been traditionally set.  But truthfully, these roles are truly limiting.  Why would we think that women can only do this and men can only do that?  The truth is we all are capable of being and doing pretty much anything we want to.  We can all contribute and be valuable in a variety of ways.  It seems to be the human need to label and define based on these generalizations that lead us to categorize family members based on gender.  What if we classified based on something else, like skill set?  Aptitude?  Interest?  It's interesting to think about how our roles might change if the emphasis on gender was replaced by something more neutral.  How might that impact things for you in your life?


"If you come from a normal family, you immediately start playing the role of a boy, a girl a man or a woman, but I'm sure you'll agree with me that those are only roles, limited roles, at that." - John Lone quotes, www.searchquotes.com/search/Funny_Boy_Vs_Girl/

A Slap In The Face

Yet again I happened to catch a part of the TV show "The View", since my mother was watching it.  I caught part of their conversation about a recent incident where Tim McGraw slapped a female concertgoer who had ripped his jeans.  Apparently the jeans were already ripped, and the female reached up and grabbed McGraw's jeans, ripping them more.  Reportedly McGraw slapped the female over this.  The discussion was about whether or not McGraw was justified to do this.  While some seemed to understand why McGraw may have felt the need to slap after essentially being violated by the fan, it seemed that the general consensus was that there was no justification for a man to strike a woman.  I say he was totally justified.  If someone is coming at me and rips my clothes, my reaction is going to be to get her off of me.  Now maybe I wouldn't slap her in the face, maybe I would just push her away.  But I would definitely take some action to defend myself.  I think that's pure gut reaction.  Besides, who gave her the right to reach up there and rip the guy's pants?  I know he's a performer and I know his pants were already ripped, but give me a break.  Why do fans think it is okay to touch a performer like that and rip their property?  Fans think they own stars and they can do anything they want with them.  What happened to common decency and respect?  And I would love to hear the debate if it were the other way around, if a male fan ripped the clothes of a female performer.  A male fan would probably be arrested, possibly with a restraining order.  I say the female fan had no right to lay hands on McGraw, and certainly had no right to touch and rip his clothes, whether they were already ripped or not.  We would never stand for something like this if a man had touched a woman's clothes.  Why should we for the reverse?

Mother vs Father

We started watching the movie "Argo" this evening.  In one of the earlier parts, there was a discussion between a couple of the characters where they were discussing how they have children, but the men were not really part of their lives anymore.  The children were living with their respective mothers.  The one male character said to the other that children need their mother.  Granted, this movie was set in 1979-1980, so the characters' viewpoints are likely different than they are today.  But I still found the comment to be interesting.  I would say children really need both of their parents.  Sure, physically they need their mother, especially early on in their lives.  But both parents are vital to a child's development throughout their lifetime.  This seems to be especially true for the same gender parent.  That is, boys really need their fathers, especially as role models and mentors.  It is quite a different thing to learn how to be a man when a boy can only observe his mother, than when he has the opportunity to learn it from his father.  And of course this says nothing of the importance of what their daughters learn from them.  The girls learn what it means to have a decent man in their life.  All children really learn the role of both males and females from their parents and their family unit.  All parts of the family are truly vital to this.  Children are short-changed when they do not get to experience life with their two most important role models, their mothers and their fathers.  Both roles are integral, both are extremely important.  I'm not saying that children cannot learn about these roles when there is an absence of a mother or of a father.  But how much richer is their experience when they have the benefit of both role models in their lives?  And this is not to say that a homosexual relationship cannot provide such an example for the children in their lives.  It would be just as important for their children to be able to experience how the mother/father roles are handled in such families as well.  The children gain from the integration of all the family members, and they lose when such important pieces of that family are missing.  All members should be involved for the most rewarding and fulfilling experience possible for the children involved.

Gender Differences - Real or Assumed?

I was having a discussion with a family member yesterday about gender differences, and what I might write about on my next blog post.  The issue raised was that perhaps we are seeing some differences in genders because we are expecting to see the differences.  Maybe they aren't really there.  This made me step back and think for a minute.  I am sure this is not completely true.  That is, I am sure that there are some actual differences between genders.  But I think there is quite a bit of truth to the concept that we have preconceived notions about what it is to be a woman and what it is to be a man.  Some of these preconceptions date back a very long time.  Could it be that we are now conditioned to see things a certain way, but the reality is those differences are not really there?  For example, yesterday we talked about whether or not men felt threatened by intelligent women.  Could it be that we think men feel this way, so we assume it is true.  So when we see men, we are looking for confirmation of our hypothesis that they feel threatened by women.  As such, we see really only what we are looking for.  Then when we see it, we say, "see"!  What are we missing when we look at men and their views of women, and vice verse?  Have you noticed a bias in how you view the opposite gender?

Does She Want You To Be Smarter Than Her?

My mom was watching "The View" on TV today.  Apparently they were discussing whether or not men were intimidated by intelligent women.  I did not hang around to find out what they said (I have no interest in that show), but it did get me thinking.  So I was looking for some articles online about it, and I happened to find several that indicate that men are intimidated.  I looked most closely at an article by Hannah Orenstein (www.hercampus.com/love/dating-hooking/are-guys-intimidated-success-why-girl-who-has-everything-doesnt-have-boyfriend) and a blog post (www.therulesrevisted.com/2013/01/what-men-think-about-your-intelligence.html).  According to these articles, and seemingly from several others spanning the past decade, apparently men are intimidated by intelligent women.  It seems that it is a power thing.  Apparently men feel the need to be the provider, the protector.  And it seems they cannot feel that way when a woman is more intelligent than them.  And it seems that works both ways . . . not only does the man feel inferior to a smarter woman and therefore less powerful, a woman is less interested in a man who is less intelligent because she doesn't feel that he is powerful enough for her.  So it would seem to be a function of power and strength as opposed to the mere level of intelligence.  I find this interesting if true, because this is really looking at basic, more primal differences between the genders.  Have we really not evolved beyond that yet?  Apparently we have not.

For myself, I feel I can say that I prefer a match on intelligence.  I really don't want someone smarter than me, and I would prefer not to be the absolute brains of the operation.  I'm interested in equality and a partnership, and really a balance between us.  I would hate to think that I am operating based on  an old concept of men are the hunters and warriors and women are dependent on them.

What do you think?  Are you interested in someone more intelligent than you or not?  Do you feel threatened or otherwise intimidated by someone of the opposite sex who is more intelligent than you?

Multi-Tasking Female Communicators

This article indicates that the difference in communication styles of men as compared to women is as follows.  Women feel and think simultaneously, while men can either feel or think, but not both at the same time.  In thinking about this, I started to realize that this might explain some situations I have experienced in my communications with males vs females.  It also made me think about my own communication style.  While looking for an article to discuss tonight, I kept running into some stereotypical styles.  A lot was mentioned about men wanting to solve problems, and women wanting more or less to vent and to have an interaction with the person to whom she was venting.  I have felt myself on both sides of that, and I have experienced both males and females on both sides of that.  So I was not satisfied that that categorization was anything more than stereotyping.  But this somewhat dated article from Psychology Today expressed a difference I had not heard about before.

Have you noticed that generally men either feel or think, but indications are they cannot do both at the same time?  Conversely, do females you talk with show indications of being able to pull that off?  Or is this yet another stereotypical view of difference in gender?


www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201008/men-women-emotions-and- communication

Inequality of Pay

I thought I'd take a look at some differences between men and women in the workplace, in terms of types of jobs and income.  The US Department of Labor has some statistics about this (see below).  This particular chart shows a list of 30 of the more common occupations for women.  Even though these are common for women, these positions are not always predominantly filled by women.  At any rate, men's median weekly earnings are higher than women's median weekly earnings for all 30 of the occupations.  That really struck me as amazing.  I thought we as a society were past inequality of pay, but apparently not.  And this was true even in fields that were predominantly female.  90% of registered nurses are female, and the median weekly earnings are still less than the male nurses.  I find this mind boggling.




http://www.dol.gov/wb/stats/leadoccupations.htm

30 Leading occupations for employed women by selected characteristics (2013 annual averages)

Occupation name	Total number of women employed (in thousands)	Women as a percent of total employed in the occupation1	Women's Median weekly earnings	Men's Median weekly earnings
All occupations	46,268	47%	$706	$860
Elementary and middle school teachers	2138	81%	$937	$1025
Secretaries and administrative assistants	2113	94%	$677	$772
Registered nurses	2023	90%	$1086	$1236
Nursing, psychiatric, and home health aides	1207	89%	$450	$499
Customer service representatives	1068	66%	$616	$639
First-line supervisors of retail sales workers	981	43%	$612	$778
Accountants and auditors	945	62%	$1029	$1268
Cashiers	932	72%	$379	$426
Managers, all other	905	34%	$1105	$1399
First-line supervisors of office and administrative support workers	828	70%	$748	$846
Receptionists and information clerks	828	92%	$527	$600
Retail salespersons	737	50%	$485	$719
Office clerks, general	734	84%	$596	$620
Bookkeeping, accounting, and auditing clerks	702	89%	$670	$751
Financial managers	613	55%	$1064	$1518
Maids and housekeeping cleaners	605	88%	$406	$467
Waiters and waitresses	558	70%	$400	$449
Personal care aides	539	84%	$445	$470
Secondary school teachers	529	57%	$986	$1093
Social workers	507	80%	$818	$978
Teacher assistants	501	89%	$475	$501
Preschool and kindergarten teachers	484	98%	$624	$ -
Education administrators	450	64%	$1130	$1543
Postsecondary teachers	424	50%	$1100	$1338
Janitors and building cleaners	421	33%	$418	$517
Cooks	418	40%	$382	$411
Childcare workers	410	95%	$418	$ -
Licensed practical and licensed vocational nurses	404	92%	$732	$ -
Counselors	391	69%	$884	$889
Billing and posting clerks	380	92%	$629	$ -
Notes: 1. All data (unless otherwise noted) are 2013 annual averages for full-time wage and salary workers only, from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Current Population Survey http://www.bls.gov/cps/cpsaat39.htm 2. Women as a percent of total employed are 2013 annual averages for all people employed (includes part-time and self-employed), from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Current Population Survey http://www.bls.gov/cps/cpsaat11.htm 3. Dash indicates no data available or base is less than 50,000. Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics, Current Population Survey

Is It A Guy Thing?

Okay so we're packing some things up for a little road trip, and I was told that throwing stuff in a bag and going is a guy thing.  I was also told that girls take much more time and deliberation to pack (and certainly pack a lot more!)  So far in observing my household, I'd have to say those stereotypes are holding true!  How are things looking in your households?

Pink Is For Boys, Blue Is For Girls

Here's a great article.  It points out 5 gender stereotypes that actually started off being the exact opposite of how they are now known.  We've talked about one or two of these before.  But this article is written with quite a sense of humor!  My favorite parts involve comparisons to the 19th century, and how people were too busy and had it too hard to take the time to really focus on defining tasks by gender.  You did the work that had to be done, and that was it.  Maybe there is something to be said for that.  Perhaps we are too focused on this.  And maybe that is, in part, why things seem to be working toward a moderation, if you will.  Things are perhaps less divided with couples along gender stereotypes.  There is a job to be done, and both are involved in getting it done.  It's hard to be sure though, since some of the data still suggests an adherence to the old stereotypes, possibly with women adding breadwinning into their predominantly assigned domestic chores.

What's it like in your household?  What is your division of labor like?



http://www.cracked.com/article_19780_5-gender-stereotypes-that-used-to-be-exact-opposite_p2.html


The more research we do, the more it seems like the only behavior consistently considered normal is the tendency to be way too strict about what normal behavior actually is -- and then being really shitty to the people who don't conform. 

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_19780_5-gender-stereotypes-that-used-to-be-exact-opposite_p2.html#ixzz37VC1gFsI

Women Will Be Taking The Lead

According to this article I found, women are already surpassing men in terms of who is going to college and who is getting graduate degrees.  The article mentions that 22% of US households had dual-incomes in 2005.  We all know this figure had to go up, and probably quite a bit, since then.  Economics alone would have made that true.  So with more and more women in the workforce, and increased numbers in undergraduate and graduate programs, you have to believe that the division of domestic labor will have to change at some point.  Some studies seem to indicate that we are already there, or at least headed there.  And some seem to indicate that not much has changed in that domain.  A woman, or any person, can only do so much.  Something has to give.  So either she is going to demand changes at home, or there will be slack to pick up that someone (presumably the man) will have to pick up or it won't get done.  It will be interesting to see how things continue to evolve as time goes on.

The biggest thing I wonder about is the children.  With both parents gone, children often end up in daycare.  I am not against daycare.  My own child was in daycare from 7 weeks of age and was never out of school since then.  I also think that most moms, given a choice, would much rather be with her babies than working for someone else.  Some men would rather have that choice as well, I think.


https://www.boundless.com/sociology/understanding-gender-stratification-and-inequality/gender-and-socialization/gender-roles-in-the-u-s/

The national trend toward a total integration of gender roles is reflected in women's education, professional achievement, and family income contributions. Currently, more women than men are enrolled in college, and women are expected to earn more graduate degrees than men over the next several years. In 2005, 22% of American households had two income earners, which suggests the presence of women in the workforce. However, in most contexts, women are still expected to be the primary homemakers, even if they are contributing to household income by working outside the home.

Gay is the Way

The original reason I started this blog was because I am fascinated about the intricacies of human relations based on differences in gender, as well as how those gender differences are manifested within both heterosexual and homosexual relationships.  I happened to find this interesting blog that was published by the New York Times last year.  I pasted some excerpts of that below.

I was taken by the reported findings that homosexual couples tend to be happier in the areas that were studied than heterosexual couples.  It seems that perhaps the balance that has been struck between the homosexuals in their relationship may at least contribute to happiness for both.  It's interesting, because apparently heterosexual couples are more likely to abide by the stereotypical division of domestic responsibilities, whereas the homosexual couples were not.  I suppose this would be an expected result.  If you have two men in a relationship, both men would probably have been raised to believe they should follow the male stereotype in the division.  With no woman to assume the traditionally female role, what would they do?  They would either have to have one of the men take on that role, or have both of the men share that role.  I thought perhaps it was the former, but it seems that at least some studies are indicating that it is instead the latter.  And it seems that heterosexual couples could learn a thing or two about homosexual ones.  It's the sharing, it's the balance of power as it were, it's the cooperation that probably leads to the happiness, and presumably also a to a healthier, more balanced and fair life for those in the relationship.





http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/01/gay-marriage-same-but-different/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0

Gay Marriage: Same, but Different

By TARA PARKER-POPE

 JULY 1, 2013 5:29 PM

...

Gay relationships tend to be more egalitarian, in part because same-sex couples don’t divide work along traditional gender lines. Gay couples also report less conflict and more happiness in their relationships. And because gay couples often lack the support of family members, they tend to receive social support from an extended network of friends.

                                            ...

One of the most notable findings was that by nearly every measure, same-sex couples reported higher levels of happiness in their relationships than straight couples. Gay couples reported far less conflict than heterosexual couples and higher levels of intimacy. Gay couples were more likely to feel that they could confide in their partners, experience high levels of affection and be happier with their sex lives.

One reason same-sex couples may report more satisfaction and less conflict is that their relationships tend to be less defined by traditional roles. Men, gay or straight, often find it easier to communicate and share perspective with other men. Women typically find communication easier with other women.

                                                                          ...

Should Coed Schools Be Abolished?

There are some studies to indicate that males and females learn differently.  Apparently some are arguing that it might be best to have boys and girls segregated into unisex classrooms as a means of bolstering their learning.  I would think it would be better to continue to have the integration, but to ensure that there are different modes of education.  Surely different styles, some geared toward the boys and some geared toward the boys, could be implemented.  Just because you may favor one method of instruction does not mean you could never learn by another method.  In fact, I would think that the only real chance you have at learning how to learn from another method is to be exposed to it.  If you are deprived of the opportunity to have that exposure and that experience, what are you learning really?

What's The Deal With The Lights?

I was watching the very first episode of "The Walking Dead" with my son tonight.  In it, the two lead characters who are Sheriff Deputies are having a conversation about some differences between men and women.  The one character spent quite a bit of time complaining that his significant other would never shut a light off.  She'd walk in a room and turn on the light.  But then when she would leave the room, she wouldn't bother to shut the light off.  Obviously that is a huge waste of energy, so I get the complaint.  But he makes it sound like she's too stupid to shut the light off.  I don't think it's stupidity, just laziness.  It's kind of like when guys don't bother to put the toilet seat back down.  Guys just can't be bothered.  So it must be that girls can't be bothered to turn off the lights.  However, I find that perception rather odd.  I have never noticed any gender difference in that type of thing.  Most people I know are very good about turning off the lights.  It must be because we're all so money-conscious these days, since the economy went in the toilet.  But historically, I really don't feel like energy conservation (or lack thereof) jumps out as a common stereotype based on gender.  Has anyone out there noticed such a tendency in your life?  I would be interested in getting some comments about what you have experienced.  Thanks!

Men Do Have Emotions

http://www.bustle.com/articles/30575-are-women-more-emotional-than-men-5-studies-examining-common-gender-stereotypes

I found another great article about gender stereotypes.  Hmmmm, which part to choose to write about today?  Let's look at what the article says about the stereotype that women are the ones who are emotional.  I pasted that part of the article below, or you can check out the entire article using the link above.

I find this study extremely interesting.  First of all, who would voluntarily administer themselves electric shocks?!?  Seriously!!!  And second, I find it very interesting that men had stronger emotional reactions than the women and yet reported having less of a reaction.  That is very interesting indeed.  I think a lot of times women think that men don't care.  This study implies they care a great deal, but they just won't tell you about it.  It could be as the article states, that perhaps men are unaware of their emotional reactions.  It could also be, as it states, that men are aware of their emotions but keep their outward reaction contained.  Some thoughts that come to my mind about this are that perhaps men are quite aware of their emotional reactions, but they have learned to keep them internalized to such a degree that it has essentially festered.  So maybe it seems like a big internal reaction because it can't be expressed externally.  It's kind of like a pot with the lid on it.  Eventually pressure rises on the inside because the heat cannot escape.  So there's a build up until either some steam escapes or the heat is turned down.  Perhaps men have a more physical reaction than women, but they feel less of a need to vent that reaction.  Perhaps they have a higher tolerance for retaining the internalized emotions.

Do you have any thoughts about any of this?  Anything you want to add?

A sad new study released last week finds that most men would rather experience electrical shocks than be alone with their thoughts. (Yes, really.) Here’s how the study worked: First, men and women were asked to sit in a room alone and think about nothing — aka meditate — a task which prompted most of them to have negative thoughts. Then, they were given the same instructions, but with the added option of administering a small electrical shock to themselves, presumably as a distraction. Only a quarter of women chose to self-administer a shock, but a whole two-thirds of men did. (One man shocked himself 190 times.)

In other words, most men would apparently rather experience physical pain than be alone with their own thoughts. That’s a pretty bleak assessment of the male psyche, and even the most charitable interpretation — that men are more “sensation seeking” than women — is drenched in gender normativity and stereotypes.

. . . 

STEREOTYPE: MEN ARE LESS EMOTIONAL THAN WOMEN

In one study, two groups of volunteers — half men, half women — had their physiology measured with skin conductance electrodes while being shown videos with varying emotional content. The men exhibited stronger emotional reactions than women to all categories of video, and responded twice as strongly to content described as “heart-warming” than did their female counterparts. At the same time, the men in this study reported feeling less emotion than they actually did (to the extent that electrodes can quantify emotion). In a separate survey by the same researchers, 67 percent of men said that they were more emotional than they appeared. 

There’s a lot to untangle here. The fact that men reported a weaker emotional response than they actually had would seem to imply that men are, in some way, unaware of their own emotions. On the other hand, a majority of men said that they experienced more emotion than they let on in public, which suggests at least some degree of awareness about their own emotional states. Perhaps the larger lesson here is that one of the biggest gender norms out there is wrong, and that when confronted with the expectation to appear emotionless, men react in unpredictable — and at times, contradictory — ways.

Sharing Responsibilities

http://m.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/07/07/children-of-same-sex-couples-are-happier-and-healthier-than-peers-research-shows/

I read this interesting article today.  Although there is plenty in it worth discussing, the item I'm picking out to discuss now is, "same-sex couples are likely to share responsibilities more equally than heterosexual ones".  I found that very interesting.  Would this be because of the existing stereotypical roles assigned to male and female, so that when there is one of each, the breakdown in responsibility more easily falls in line with those roles?  And then when there is the absence of that traditional definition of a gender role, when it's 2 females and no males, or 2 males and no females, the traditional roles aren't so easily applied?  We used to say things like, "she wears the pants", and "she is the man in the relationship", and so forth.  Perhaps homosexual couples really do not break into stereotypical roles like some of us thought.  Perhaps it is a truly more equal division of responsibilities, more gender neutral.