Differences in How Men and Women Deal with Divorce

It's amazing to me how differently the genders handle a variety of different things.  Here is another area where differences are noted.  Divorce is an ugly and messy thing, no question about it.  Apparently males handle it better at the beginning and females better at the end.  I would think child support might have something to do with that, at least where the fathers are the ones paying the mothers child support, which is the thing I seem to hear most commonly.  Also certainly there must be a difference based on who wanted the divorce in the first place.  You would have to account for that variable when looking at the differences that seem to be based on gender.

I know of situations where the female started the divorce (and in so presumably "handled it" better than the man did, since it was likely a situation the man did not want), and the reverse.  And I've seen situations where the woman ended up better, and some where the man did.  I have yet to notice any real significant gender difference, although I have not conducted any true study of this.

What has your experience been?  Have you noticed gender differences in how divorce is handled?  There is one thing I have always noticed.  It is always a horrible, messy, painful thing.  Sometimes people are able to come out of it okay and are able to be civil.  Sometimes they can't.  I'm not sure it's a factor of gender.  It's as if the gender factor has morphed into a nullified state, and the differences that exist are based on variables outside of the morphed entity.  Perhaps this is one situation where there are not so many differences in how men and women handle it at all.


http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J087v14n03_03#.U-9iGfldUlc

"Gender Differences in Divorce Adjustment"

Gender differences in divorce adjustment were inves- tigated. It was concluded that there is sufficient evidence to demon- strate that males report less stress prior to the decision to divorce than do females, and that females fare better after separation and divorce than do males. It is argued that measures of divorce adjust- ment are either direct or indirect measures of self-esteem, and that gender differences in self-esteem exist prior to divorce and therefore account for gender differences in adjustment after divorce. It is fur- ther suggested that gender differences in the moderators of divorce adjustment (i.e., in attachment, initiation of divorce, and degree of social support) are related to gender roles and serve to reinforce gender differences in adjustment to divorce.



http://www.divorce-lawyer-source.com/faq/emotional/who-initiates-divorce-men-or-women.html

Who initiates the divorce more often, the wife or the husband?

One might think that 50 percent of the time, a divorce action is filed by the husband, and the other 50 percent of the time it’s the wife who begins the proceedings — or that maybe there’s a small percentage to subtract for the divorces that are somehow filed jointly by spouses who agree that they should part.

It also seems plausible that since the wife’s standard of living often declines after a divorce, women would be less likely to file a divorce action. Conversely, because men more often engage in adultery, it may seem that wives would be more likely to seek a divorce based on their husbands’ conduct.

The reporting of divorce statistics isn’t as complete as, say, the census data collected in the U.S. every ten years. However, several sources have arrived at pretty much the same answer to the question, “who initiates a divorce more often, men or women?”

Two-Thirds of the Time
It’s the wife who files for divorce in about two-thirds of divorce cases, at least among couples who have children. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the proportion has changed slightly over the years; for example, in 1975, approximately 72 percent of the divorces in the U.S. were filed by women, whereas by 1988, only about 65 percent were filed by women.

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